Identity and background
This background is based on my Cultural Autobiography paperwork presented in Spring 2022.
My name is Andrea Estefania, my mom chose both of my names, but I preferred people to call me Estefania or Teffa; that is shorter because my mom called me Andrea if she would scold me for something I did (or did not do). Andrea was the name of a telenovela character, and Estefania came from the Princess Stéphanie of Monaco. My last names are La Rotta Torres. When I was a kid, I used to sign up for my homework as Estefania Torres because I was ashamed of La Rotta because other kids made fun of my last name during elementary school. I had to find out more about my last name and my family roots for an assignment. I discovered that La Rotta was an Italian word that means “La Ruta o el Camino” (The route or the way), and then I started to use it more, proud to understand why it was so unique and rare. I am 29, almost 30, and a heterosexual woman that had the great opportunity to get to know people from the LGBTQ community while growing up and accepting other sexual orientations as normal. I got to know people that were open to talking about it with me even when it was easy for them to share, this helped me in my process to become an ally. I cannot say the same for most of the people from my country. There are multiple regions of Colombia where people can lose their jobs or get murdered for displaying affection for someone of the same sex. A large number of trans-women and trans-men ending in prostitution because they do not find jobs that accept them how they are.
Colombia is a Catholic country, and I had the liberty to get baptized and have my first communion when I wanted. However, when I was getting into high school while learning about history and philosophy, I started questioning the horrible actions done in God’s name. I still remember praying on my bed and talking with God, asking about what made me feel sad or my hopes for the future—asking to take care of my family. I still wrestle with religion and spirituality.
I recently started to identify differences between my education and other people from my country because I constantly understood my position as a Latina in the North American environment and educational system. But, I did not reflect deeper on my experiences when I was in school in comparación with my compatriots. I have to admit that I was in a privileged position. My family was not wealthy, but I had a child’s necessities covered: my family, a place to sleep, and food. I traveled with my mom some weekends and visited my great-grandparents on the farm where they worked in the crops. I completed all of my studies and only had to transfer schools twice. I finished my associate’s and bachelor’s degrees thanks to my mom and dad for their financial support and for allowing me to work with them in the restaurant bar during the day and most weekends to help at home. I am a middle-class Bogotana, but being a middle-class family is privileged in my country.
The data says that in 2020 “there were more than 21.02 million people (Colombian) who subsist on less than $331,688 (87.82 Dollars) per month; an amount that, according to Dane (National Administrative Department of Statistics), is the poverty line in Colombia and 7.47 million Colombians live on less than $145,004 (38.39 Dollars) per month, that is, they live in conditions of extreme poverty, and their income is not enough to consume the calories a person needs to have good health conditions.” (Salazar Sierra)
I grew up as Rola in the capital of the country, and It took me some time to realize that my social class impacted my education. Currently, I am struggling with my identity as an immigrant in other contexts. When I talk about identity, I focus on my current situation rather than on my social class when I was in Colombia. Of course, I grew up seeing everybody with the same lens, at school we learned about we been Colombians, and when we talked about history we knew that most of us were Mestizos or criollos.
I was born and raised in Bogota; I already had an advantage over thousands of children in the country who were born in isolated parts of the country. Some of them need hours to walk to arrive at their schools. Other schools do not have the resources to have primary conditions like tables, chairs, or school elements. Or worse, others even can not go to school because they work with their parents in the crops. I learned about colonialism and the civil war in Colombia. For years, I learned about that from a romanticized point of view of where Spanish people arrived in Latin America to teach us about God, Christianism, and how to read and write. Not the real story about how they kill, steal and destroy an indigenous culture. When I was close to ending high school or starting college, I learned about that. I had access to everyday meals and snacks during my breaks. I had access to private education. I had access to public transportation. I had access to public services; I had an advantage.
Colombia, like other countries, speaks Spanish instead of native indigenous languages because a stronger culture arrived and took possession of the place. Enslaved Africans arrived on our country’s coast and also were silenced. That is why places like Choco, Guajira, Córdoba, and Sucre have a large afro descendent population. A population that is still marginalized and impoverished. I learned about my country through the “cultural week” in school. Colombian Departments were divided into different grades, and each class participated during that week displaying typical dances, traditional costumes, and typical food. For a long time, I considered that that was inclusion. We learned about our country and its diverse regions, diverse nature, and rich culture. Now, I see that as just a tiny part of the big picture. It is essential to show a picture of Colombia’s multiculturalism. But, I wonder about the meaningful and genuine conversations that we miss while talking about history and our origins. Age-appropriate School curriculum could be more critical about how areas in our country die because of poverty, lack of resources, and corruption. Schools try not to be political, which creates another black hole in society. A political generation can vote when they turn 18 but are not aware of what is happening in the country.
In addition to the lack of cultural diversity representation included in the lesson, I also struggled with comprehension during school lectures. Inquiring more in school practices about literacy, teachers focus on decoding too. By the time I was in elementary, my school had implemented a government plan called “Plan lector,” a list of books called “Torre de Papel,” which came in different colors depending on the grade. As as I understand, the Ministry of Education created this plan to force students to read several books per year. I remember going downtown with my mom to buy these books in second-hand shops. Inquiring deeper with my mom, she remembered that she had to read the books and kind of forced me to read them to respond to some questions and make a poster about them. At school, I remember that we had a test about the book. However, we did not have a discussion in class about the readings. I was not a good reader, and my mom probably supported me in completing those assignments. Also, I am not entirely sure what the test result was.
My relationship with reading was not the best; I can remember a few books of Torre de Papel that I liked, and retained more information compared to others. These books were related to fantasy and magic, elements that later were the key to my blooming as a reader when I was about 12 years old.
I read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. This was the first book I asked for and the first one I read without being asked. A friend of mine recommended it, and we watched the movie together in her house. When I finished reading the first book, I asked for the next 2. Unfortunately, my mom could not buy me all the books that I would ask for, so we went downtown again to find them in the second-hand shops and other shady places where there were no actual legal copies of those books. But they were cheaper, and that was what we could afford at that time. My mom talked about that time, really intrigued by the fact that I was finally interested in reading. Yet, she would not question that; she just supported me as much she could.
Most schools teach English, but there is not a reliable bilingualism program in most of them. The students learn English most of the time because they have particular classes or attend institutes. That was one of the ways that I started my English learning process. When I was in college, I joined an academy that allowed me to speak and improve basic skills in English. But I realized that I would need to learn English if I wanted to apply to a master’s program in education at the National University of Colombia. This is where I found out about the Au Pair program, which allows me to travel to another country for one or two years to improve my English. That was the primary goal. But leaving my job and family was not easy. It was inevitable to feel pressure and have a lot of questions about what to do. Finally, the hope was that if my English was good enough, other job opportunities would open for me. That is a reality in a lot of countries. If you speak English, you can find a better position.
After two and a half years as an Aupair and six months as a teacher in the US, I am discovering who I am as a Latina. While exploring my culture as Mestiza helped me understand how students need to find their identity. Through daily interactions, they need to recognize their own identity to have a voice to share. Considering that the language is an essential part of that identity (de Jong, p.30), as a teacher, I can guide and spark curiosity and conversations that help them realize their cultural identity and the importance of being part of a community. I want to give the opportunity to my students to analyze their positionality, who they are, and what that means for them to be who they are. I know that I can help the students explore their multilingualism and be proud of it and help students explore multiculturalism in their classrooms.